Closing the Minority Gap; A Desperate Ploy

Me, I think it's desperation. Can't you hear the midnight session in a back room of GOP headquarters, 'The Man Who' and some GOP toady, trying to work it out?

TMW:
"SHIT! Their candidate is BLACK! How can we compete with that?"

Toady:
"No doubt about it, sir. This gives them great leverage with the masses."

TMW:
"My ticket needs its OWN minority; there's a minority GAP!"

Toady:
"Yessir. It's a shame we pissed all over Colin Powell, but who could have guessed? We could pull..."

TMW:
"NO! We're not raiding the Supreme Court to build up our ticket. Besides, people hate the Supremes almost as much as that punk kid. We need something else."

Toady:
"I was going to say, we could recruit someone from Miami; they have a surplus of Hispanics that are conservatives."

TMW:
"Screw that. They'll be after us to invade Cuba, for chrisake! Like we need another invasion! And we're trying to distance ourselves from the civil-rights abuse of The Punk's administration. We don't want a book-banner on our ticket!"

Toady:
"Well, let's see...there's still a lot of fallout over there that Hillary didn't get the nod...if we chose a woman, we'd not only close the minority gap, but we'd have a valid choice for all those disenfranchised Liberal gals."

TMW
"Are you crazy? Don't call them 'gals.' Shit, people think I'm old school. What's wrong with you. Still, you have a point; a woman could work. Best of all, we'd close the minority gap without having to have any, well, you know...minorities."

Toady:
"OK, a woman it is... any preferences?"

TMW:
"Just as long as she can keep her mouth shut. Don't bring me someone with a lotta damned opinions like Chrissy Whitman."

Toady:
"Well, that leaves Ann Coulter out..."

TMW:
"And a great ass! Something to make having her around worth it!"