May 13, 2009

How To Stop Receiving Negative Feedback

The Palm Beach Post recently flushed a butt load of money down the toilet in the form of PB Pulse, a slick new interface to replace its Entertainment section with something reminiscent of People Magazine, only without any sense or reason to it.

Readers hate the site.

There's the senselessness of the layout itself, the lack of interesting content, and the way it overloads your web browser so the pages render in fits and starts. Check out the basic page:

The colors don't seem to mean anything. The stories change at random. There's no rational mind at work here. Whic box is the theatre story? The music review? Restaurant commentary? It could be any of them. It's probably none of them. Why? Because instead of reporting about the town we live in, some brain-dead drooling mouth-breather decided we need to have more stories about Tori Spelling, and Slate Videos. Like we don't already go to Slate to watch them.

They also broke their site map, so that attempts to reach anything having to do with entertainment or lifestyle leads you to a photo of some smug asshole leering at you:
"F*** you, we threw out the page that had all the information you wanted, the one you thoughtfully bookmarked so you could always go right directly to it, and replaced it with something that loads painfully slow. But I got this cute toy with the logo of our hideous new website! HA HA!"

So how did they put an end to all the negative feed back? I'll show you how.

Yesterday, negative feedback:

Today, No Negative Feedback:

That's right. They simply took away the link to the feedback page. Brilliant!

I'm sure that somewhere, some toady web hack is garnering praise:
"Yesterday, we were inundated with complaints: but Jones here is a genius! We haven't received a single complaint since Jones installed that last patch! Now we can put on our rose-colored glasses and know that our jobs are secure!"
Of course, it did solve one actual problem: the way that stupid tab blocked a significant portion of the text.

But never fear! If you still want to give the "web designers" at PB Pulse a good chewing out, you can still do it; simply click HERE. Oh, the feedback page is even worse than PB Pulse; a land of forced good cheer. The whole thing has been given a relentlessly Happy Spin. You can Ask a question, or Share an Idea, Report a Problem, or Give Praise.

But you can't Complain.


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