A Few Words of Wisdom for a Young Man

Dennis Farina was born February 29, 1944, which makes this his sixteenth birthday.

And you know what that means, don't you? It means he's eligible for his learner's permit!

So I'd like to share the benefit of my years of wisdom with Dennis, on this, his coming of age.

Driving's a big responsibility, young man. Don't treat it as a way to pick up chicks; driving a car is far more important that simply picking up chicks. It's a way to drive them to a remote location to have sex with them. And having a car gives you a PLACE to do it, too.

So carry breath mints, Trojans, and make sure you have them home by their curfews. And don't forget to clean out your car before Dad takes it to work in the morning.