Oh, He's HIGH, all right.....

...and I'm not just talking about his ride.




Dude, seriously. What is the deal? If this were taken out in the 'glades, or some other muddy and rugged location, I wouldn't blink. But dude. This truck has never known mud. You're parked at a downtown park. ON A SATURDAY.

Well, at least you didn't turn it into a lowrider.

Bookfair showdown

Among the many respected authors appearing at the Miami Book Fair, there are two that stand out;

Rosie O'Donnell

and Jenna Bush.

Not because they are known for something other than writing, or that their books aren't great works of literature (which I can't judge, not having read either's offering).

But, c'mon, it's ROSIE O'DONNELL and GEORGE W. BUSH'S DAUGHTER!! Am I the only one hoping that Rosie will show up at Jenna's event and heckle her?

JENNA:
I'm here to talk about my experiences in Central...

ROSIE:
Hey! Twiggy! I can kick your old man's ass.

JENNA
...America. Um, when I met this woman, well GIRL, really...

ROSIE
I mean it! I'll kick his lying Republican ASS! Wha! HEY! LET ME GO!

JENNA
As I was saying, this girl who was....

ROSIE
G*****NED faschists! Get OFF of me! It's call FREE SPEECH, assholes!!

Sigh. I can only dream.

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Photos courtesy of Miami Bookfair International

Season of Temptation

There I was, minding my own business. Pushing my shopping cart along the dairy section, not a care in the world, when I saw IT.

Leering at me from the shelf, poised to pounce:


AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

It's not that I don't LIKE egg nog; I love it. I love it too much. Sure, it's disgustingly sweet, and almost thick enough to need a fork. But those are its GOOD points.

Adding insult to injury, I like to use it to rinse down chocolate chip cookies; can you say "sugar coma?"

I can't believe the rat bastards put it on the shelves before Halloween.

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